Throcmorton P. Hildersteed is a fount of unparalleled wisdom and knowledge not wholly destroyed by personal pharmaceutical research. Ask him any question and fall down on your face in awe at an answer that will undoubtedly be beyond mortal comprehension.
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The Answers

Where is my Elf buddy Ewaa ? We were having a couple ales at the pub and the next thing I knew he was gone? Gonad the Barbarian from Lower Ballzak He might be outside looking for the little brown dog. You might want to keep and eye out for the law if you go looking for him, and I hope you left the ax back at camp remember what happened the last time. TPH

Would it help if I donated a camera with an exploding battery? TJ Howl from Earth Sure if you'll pay the $40,000.00 shipping and handling we'll have to charge. Has it gone off already, and do you thing it will go on eBay? We have some paperclips in the donation jar at work I think we should sell on eBay. TPH

Whats the meaning of life? Chad from Charlotte Life is a condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects, i.e. non-life , and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally. TPH
See what happens when you let Throc sober up? The meaning of life is Harley-Davidsons!!! JND

Will James Bond ever buy new cologne? Jane Doe from Like U care I'm not sure why you would ask me that particular question, but I caled M5 for the Straight Dope, and according to a note sent to me by special courier signed by 007 himself the answer is as following;

Dear Jane,
there are four indisputable truths
pertaining to James Eponymous Bond;
  • For Queen and country
  • Shaken not stirred
  • my love for a beautiful woman
  • Old Spice

  • Yours Truley, James E. Bond, 007
    Golly Jane, sounds like a resounding "No" to me. Why do you ask?

    ...Would like to know the long awaited anwser to, Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Thomas from It's all the same. It's obvious man. The egg came first. I had the chicken for lunch.
    Come-on! Who eats chicken for breakfast?

    Thanks for the tip on the Llama food, oh-great Throcmorton. Spelling lesson too. It's hard to type with these camel like fingers. The wife and I do have a good relationship. It's like the song, She's the Dixie Chicken and I'm the Tennessee Llama. Anyway, good luck with the Harley! James Bond from MI Ok your talking about the the song "Dixie Chicken" by Little Feat right. The Chorus goes like;
    If you'll be my Dixie chicken
    I'll be your Tennessee lamb
    And we can walk together
    Down in Dixieland
    Down in Dixieland

    Well I'm sorry I thought you were and high altitude pack animal not a small white (or black) woolly one. My bad. TPH

    Can you help me settle a bet with my friend Buggs please... Is it duck season or rabbit season?Daffy Duck from Daytona Beach, Florida According to our sources as of October 19th it's Bear and Turkey Season in Michigan. I guess that means that if you see a turkey riding bearback you can shoot it.
    Of course deer season is coming up. Nobody in the state outside of Detroit can be found at that point. Deer season starts according to how you intend to hunt. Most people wait for firearm season which is the two weeks around Thanksgiving, but before that there is bow season (you know those long stick and string thingees that fire arrows. Before that I think its club season, but you can only use drivers not irons or putters. And I think for a week before that you're allowed to hunt and kill by hand, most people don't have too much luck with that.
    Later in December it's elk season, and on Boxing Day you're allowed to hunt for Ted Nugent, but he's gotten pretty good ad not being found, and even better at shooting back if he is.
    As far as ducks and bunnies are concerned, if it's cold enough outside to make your nipples hard when only wearing a t-shirt, it's probably legal to kill both. (WARNING this method does not hold up in court)
    Good Luck and Good Hunting!

    My wife thinks I'm her pet lama. What should she feed me? James Bond from MI Heck all she has to do is tie you out in the yard and let you graze, or drop a bail of hay next to the la-Z-Boy and your good for ten days up to three weeks. Now this is a good relationship you have with her right?
    P.S. It's Llama

    Confucious say get a 2nd job Confucious from PAI guess you missed the JOKE here! As if trying to update and create new stuff for the website isn't a job. Beside the fact that this is Michigan and if you have A JOB your one of the lucky ones in the state.

    I think Greenpeace was making an insulting remark about my figure. Take it easy man, I'm too much woman for you anyway. Kristy Lately we've been getting more and more questions for Throc that seem more personally directed not toward (or for) Throc per se', but towards other readers and contributers to this site. They are mildly abusing the site to make slams, inuendo, veiled threats and negative vibes from behind a fake name toward people they know.

    As the webmaster
    (J. N. Dennysson)
    I would like to say here that this is not what the site is for. Buy-Me-A-Harley.com is about a way of life. An attempt to bring like minded people together as a community. People who (sniff) want live a certain way of life . A life that (tears welling up in eyes) knows no bounds. A life freed of contraints by the open road (out right crying) and wind blowing through our hair (at least in Ohio where there is no helmet law). A way of life free of hate, negativity, and Microsoft products. A way of life (uncontrolled sobbing) that can only be called Harlynism. It's not about hate and negativity. No man, it's not about that, it's about all of that sappy crap I just said and of course getting a free motorcycle.

    You guys need help with Kristy? Greenpeace from Washington, D.C.Help doing what? I guess the answer is 'yes' no matter what. Hey, Can we have a ride on your boat?

    Do you guys think you will really make enough money to buy two bikes? Candy from Intercoarse, PANo. We didn't think we'ed (oops! there's a freudian slip) get enough to buy two pizzas, but here we are with over $100. It started out as a joke around work and then we got $0.05 from someone and we were off. If people that stop by the website would donate $1, $2, or $5 it would be great, but what we hope is that if you get a smile that's great, if you can leave some money that's better, but if you can't leave any money keep the smile anyway. TPH ;)

    The cat was pink (don't even go there) and there was no tape involved, but there was a short piece of lace (don't go there either). And another thing there was a Koala bear in the picture that sat in a frame on the piano. Stubb Is that the Koala bear that plays the cello, or the one that plays the piccolo? If it's the cello playing bear you better keep him (I think it was a him never mind) away form the cat and the lace remember what happened the last time. Now if it's the piccolo playing bear (I'd watch him too) and he's facing north. 3:55 am the next day. Oh and give that cat a bath. TPH

    If a train you boarded was leaving Boston at 1:55 PM and was traveling 120 miles per hour and they told you they had no more chicken to serve, what time would it be in Sydney Australia? Stubb from Milan What was the color of the cat to begin with, and was there tape involved?

    How was the party at the local dealership? Alias from either just pick one One great big tease. You Know I want this, and that, and two of those, and the bikes were nice too.

    Rumor has it that you're a direct descendant of Nostradamus. Is this true? Curious from Central California Womens Facility If I were to be so, I’m sure that he wouldn’t claim me.

    I wants to know So more on this accident, you really need this bike now huh? I personally cant wait for you to ride in the snow, Will you? Alias from same as yours!! Well I guest your talking about the Blog, Day 37. That was Dennysson that got in to the accident with the dwarf not me. I know that we so much alike that it’s hard to tell us a part but please try. The earliest in the year that I’ve ridden is March 1, 1974 when I bought my first bike. 35 degrees out for a 50 mile ride to get home.

    Sarah, Do you have a job? Throcmorton Listen Jerk, Do you want my nickel a day or not?(Sarah)

    And just what is so wrong with riding a Vespa? Sarah Nothing if you a hot little 125 pound italian chick named Stella, but if you're 200+ pound American male, it's like playing golf with a bowling ball.

    When will you have buymeaharley.com merchandise available? Sarah When we can sell a t-shirt for $16,499... hmmm or maybe $50

    Do you accept foreign currency? SarahIt's America we except everything

    Helmet or no Helmet? That is the question. Sarah It's like Russian Roulette with 5 bullets vs. Russian Roulette with 1 bullet. Which would you choose?

    What is you favorite Harley color? Sarah The one between my legs.

    How do you feel about nickel and dime donations? Sarah It all helps.